Fewer Dookies in Small Business’s Pool With Online Training

Okay, We own Corporate Training company SKAE Learning so before anyone accuses me of having a Dookie in my Pool as a result of self promotion without full disclosure, there you have it. 

In dealing with small business owners during the past few years, I have noticed a distinct difference between these intrepid folks and their big business counterparts.  The big business, non-self employed folks have a tendency to be more daring and willing to throw big bucks around to handle problems or to take chances.  The small business folks on the other hand seem to be much more cautious.

This almost seems counter-intuitive to me because after all, didn’t many of these same small business people risk life and limb to start their own businesses in the first place?

The small business folks know something that the big business folks don’t.  They know exactly what they need to do in order to make the rent, pay the utilities, make payroll and hopefully make a profit for themselves.  Thus, they are more cautious with their dollars.

I’ve also noticed that the big business folks tend to view employee development as an investment whereas their small business counterparts can’t seem to justify the expense in both time and money.

Hopefully that will now change.  I believe that small and mid-size companies will be blazing the trail toward prosperity for the next decade or so.  Most of the new jobs will be created here and they are at a competitive disadvantage if they don’t proactively invest in their employees.

SKAE Learning is moving to fill that void by offering corporate training seminars through business organizations including Chambers of Commerce so that these important skills can be learned and utilized by the folks that need them most.

The concept is simple; these organizations or the companies themselves can subscribe to a single seminar or multiple seminars; they provide a PC with speakers or perhaps a data projector and a meeting space.  Chambers can offer these seminars to their members as an additional member benefit which creates additional value to members or they can set the price of admission and use the seminars as fundraising events.

A twelve seminar subscription includes one seminar of your choice each month for $1,200 or just $100 per seminar.  A six seminar subscription includes one seminar of your choice each month for six months and is $750 or just $125 per seminar. On a per-seminar basis, the seminars are $150.00 each.  We offer at least 8 different seminars to choose from each month.

Seminars are conducted online with a live instructor.  Subscribers download the materials for their seminar and print out a copy for each attendee.  There is no inventory cost and no shipping cost making online seminars one of the greenest options available. We cover topics including sales training, customer service training, time management training, innovation, team building, public speaking & presentation skills training, goal setting training, common workplace issues and so many more in order to deliver these skills to an under-served market.

Time will tell if we have Dookies in our Pool or if the can help to remove some of the Dookies in the economic drivers of the future’s pool.

Dookies in Many Salespeople’s Pools

I received yet another “How are you doing today?” phone call this morning.  The Good News?  I know that this guy has never attended a sales training course or seminar at SKAE Learning so my reputation is safe.  The terrible news?  This poor guy has never attended a sales training course or seminar at SKAE Learning.

As I’m sure almost every non-salesperson knows and most decent salespeople know (with the exception of the salespeople who continue to use the line) “How are you doing today” screams “Salesperson” or “Telemarketer” to one and all with the possible exception of hermits and shut-ins.  It is insincere and puts most prospects on the defensive immediately.

Why do people insist on using this old worn-out line?

Two reasons:

  1. They’ve been taught to use it
  2. They haven’t been taught not to use it
Having led, trained, coached and managed hundreds of salespeople, it has become abundantly clear that most salespeople build more barriers to prevent sales than their prospects do.  The missing link is usually training or lack thereof.
The first eight to ten seconds of a cold call are crucial.  In this brief time span, five very important objectives must be accomplished:
  1. Identify your prospect
  2. Identify yourself
  3. Identify your company
  4. Identify the reason for your call
  5. Grab your prospect’s attention
Seems like a lot doesn’t it?  It isn’t really; here’s a simple example with the appropriate objective number listed:
(1)*Good morning Mr. Jones? (2) This is Bob Blowhard with (3) JKL Co. (4)The reason/purpose for my call is… (5) Insert attention getter here.
*You can skip this part if your prospect answers the phone “Bob Jones”

Versus this:

May I speak with Mr. Jones?

This is him.

“Good morning Mr. Jones, How are you today?”

“I’m okay” or “I’m terrible” or “What do you want?” or “Who is this?”

The prospect usually doesn’t recognize the voice and has already been put on alert.  Worse yet, the prospect mistakes the salesperson for someone else and things get really akward when they realize their error.

On many occasions I have actually answered this insincere question with “Terrible, my wife just left me and my dog bit me.”  Believe it or not, I’ve heard “That’s Great!” or “That’s too bad, let me tell you about our great new whizziegig!”

Occasionally the salesperson will actually let me off the hook–this shows that they actually listened to me but the end result is still the same.

The salesperson built up a barrier and didn’t have a chance at getting my interest.

Remember the three S’s: Short, Sweet, Sincere.  It beats Insincere every time.

Interspire Has Very Few Dookies in the Pool

In my last post, I expressed concern about Interspire–a great software company by the way, and their potential for growing pains.

After actually using my newly upgraded email software, and encountering a few issues with a different Interspire  product (Website Publisher) I am once again convinced that Interspire is and shall remain a great company to do business with.  While I feel that I was right to be somewhat miffed at Email Marketer no longer being compatible with my version of Shopping Cart, I was totally wrong about Interspire trolling the shallow end of the talent pool.

Email Marketer is/was well worth the upgrade investment.  There are far too many benefits to the upgrade than I could possibly list here–it’s that good.  I’ll probably upgrade Interspire Shopping Cart in the next few months anyway so I’m not going to quibble too much.  

Note to Interspire:  Please tell me and others if the versions of your products that we currently have from your company are not going to be compatible with products that we might consider upgrading before we upgrade.

Shortly after my last post, I encountered a few issues with Interspire Website Publisher.  Interspire’s tech support is the model that others should aspire (or Interspire) to become. (Thanks Jordie and Gwilym)

They did two things very well:

  1. They fixed what they could fix and they did it quickly.
  2. They were honest and told me that there were a few bugs that they couldn’t fix immediately but that would be addressed in a future maintance release. The bugs were minor annoyances–nothing major.
They did one thing exceptionally well:
  1. They delivered.  A week or so later, they fixed my bug and some others.
People might question the bugginess.  Why would I want to buy software with bugs?  I think the truth of the matter is that there are so many different server configurations, and so many applications out there that bugs will be with us for the foreseeable future.
How a company responds to those bugs is what will set companies apart from their competitors.  With Interspire, I’m convinced that you not only get great software, you get their IT department as well.
One more question…  How about an Interspire version of a Salesforce-like product?  Integrate it with Email Marketer, Shopping Cart and Website Publisher and a giant killer is born.

Dookies in Interspire’s Pool? I Hope Not.

Interspire is a 6 year-old company based in Australia with offices in the United States and the U.K.  These guys were passionate about software and wrote PHP and ASP versions of their applications.  The software allowed anyone and I do mean anyone, to build, operate and update a website quickly, easily and without knowing any html or other coding languages.  From time-to-time I’ve hired freelancers to customize some of my sites but I actually learned to do much of this work myself because Interspire’s applications were easy to use and easy to correct any errors that I made.

If memory serves me well, they even installed the software absolutely free of charge.  At some point they stopped building ASP versions and focused their attention on building great PHP web-based software applications. 

Monster.com, GE, Shell, Intel and many other large corporations use Interspire’s applications and although I’m by no means a corporate giant, I was proud to be in such prestigious company, felt that I had made some very wise choices and was overall, a very happy camper.

Back about 4 years ago when Interspire was a two-year old startup, the response times and support were superior to anything else out there.

I believe that as Interspire has grown, the issues have grown along with the company, hence the term “growing pains.”  The support times have gotten longer, there is now a charge to have the software installed (okay, I understand this one–software installation does cost time, effort and money), instead of paying an annual support fee that included upgrades, Interspire changed the names of some products and required loyal customers to pay for a new version instead of getting upgrades with their support agreements.  I know for a fact that this resulted in a number of disgruntled customers who vowed to never return to Interspire. 

Throughout all of this, I’ve remained a loyal customer.

In the coaching and training I do for companies, I find that many times there is a certain point where growth exceeds the company’s ability to maintain the same level of responsiveness and support.  As a company expands, it becomes more and more difficult to quickly attract, train and retain a top quality pool of talent. 

In many instances companies unwittingly attract talent from the shallow end of the talent pool.  This is similar to what happens when a professional sports league expands.  When new teams are added, there is a greater need for talent resulting in teams signing players that under other circumstances would be considered minor leaguers at best. 

I understand that Interspire is a for-profit enterprise and I understand that Interspire has changed its business model somewhat over the years as well but sometimes I’m beginning to feel as if redundancy is being built in for the sake of profits vs. better products and seemless product integration.

I purchased Interspire’s Shopping Cart last May.  I’ve very happy with it–I feel that it’s a great piece of software and a good value.

Earlier this week I upgraded from a version of SendStudio to Email Marketer and I’m very happy with the new software as well.  I feel that Interspire earned my upgrade dollars by providing a superior application. The problem arose when I tried to re-integrate Shopping Cart with Email Marketer.  I couldn’t get the XML token to work.

Interspire’s support responded to my support ticket request by telling me that my version of Shopping Cart isn’t compatible with the version of Email Marketer that I just paid another $249.00 for.  The solution?  Upgrade Shopping Cart for another $200.00.  Had I known that the new version of email marketer wasn’t compatible with my version of Shopping Cart  (support and updates ran out about 6 months ago,) I would have reconsidered my decision to upgrade in the first place. 

In essence, my decision to upgrade  may cause me to pay more money to upgrade something else that I don’t think needs upgrading at this time.  At the very least, getting emails from Shopping Cart into Email Marketer will become more onerous because I’ll have to do it manually.

 

Great companies find a way to overcome these challenges and continue on their upward trajectory.  I sincerely hope that Interspire puts their customer’s needs and backward compatibility ahead of making a buck.  If they can build this kind of foresight into their business model, their customers will more than reward them with more sales, referral business, more support contracts and greater profits.

A Dookie in the McCain-Palin Pool

I thought that John McCain showed a great deal of courage and insight in choosing Sarah Palin as his runningmate.  Before I go any further, after 8 years of Bill Clinton followed by 8 more of George Bush, I have come to the conclusion that backing either platform is a mistake.  Neither party has all of the answers and what we really need are bi-partisans who care more about serving the people than serving themselves and their cronies.  As a result, I am solidly an independent. 

Forget for a moment what Sarah Palin’s positions are and what her background is.  After having announced his choice for Vice President and being introduced to Sarah Palin, who by most accounts seems like a decent choice, we were introduced to her family.  Sarah and her husband were high school sweethearts, their son is being deployed to Iraq, four other beautiful children including a newborn with Downs Syndrome.  Sounds like an all-American family.  In fact, at first glance, it seemed as if Sarah Palin could identify with the average, middle-class American- a large group that has been given the shaft by both parties for decades. 

A few short days later, we all learned that her teen-aged daughter was pregnant.

Unexpected pregnancies happen every day in this country and throughout most of the world.  This in and of itself should make Sarah & her family even more like yours and mine: we’re fallible and we all make mistakes.

What concerns me is this: Why did we not hear about this unplanned pregnancy and the wedding plans on Friday when her family was introduced to the nation?    Why not announce that a grandchild is on the way?  I admire the fact that the Palin’s are being supportive of their daughter during what must be a difficult time in her life right now.  We can’t blame Bristol and her boyfriend for this situation, they fessed up to the only people that they are responsible to and are preparing to bring their child into the world.

Herein lies the Dookie: Had the Palin’s been upfront about this matter, I’m quite confident that America would have been far more understanding than many are now.  The media frenzy has  been absolutely disgusting.  Although after Michael Jackson, Paris Hilton and Brittany Spears, we all now know that the media appeals to the lowest common denominator has no credibilty left with people who can actually think logically for themselves.

Instead of bringing a fresh perspective and new ideas, it would appear as if Sarah Palin has quickly learned the deceitful ways of a Washington veteran.

 

When All is Said and Done…

I experienced an increasingly rare moment of absolute and total lucidity a few days ago. 

I sat through a day-long planning session.  I was online watching and participating when called upon, but not a presenter.  This approach has it’s pros and cons.

On the pro side, remote participants are pretty much tied to their desks so you are compelled to do the things that you know you should do, but that always seem to fall through the cracks.  It allows one to check & answer email and bio-breaks can usually be accomplished without the entire world knowing where you went or what you’re doing. 

On the con side, you can’t really goof off too much because if called upon, you need to know what’s going on.  The web cam doesn’t show the entire meeting room so you don’t always know who’s talking and finally, you can’t always hear everything that’s said.

Nevertheless, as the meeting droned on into the afternoon, I listened to everyone’s great ideas and chimed in when called upon and when appropriate–you always want them to know that you’re there.   During one particularily self-serving presentation by a self-absorbed bore, I snapped to attention when this person said “When all is said and done…”.   Of course, I have absolutely no idea what came next as he mercifully attempted to summarize and end his presentation because at that very moment it became clear to me what the problem is at many organizations: Far more is said than is ever done.

How many meetings have you attended where lofty goals and ideals are bandied about in order to impress one’s peers and more importantly, to impress one’s superiors?  A soon as everyone returns to their offices, it’s back to business as usual.

Anyone can talk-the-talk, far fewer seem to be able to walk-the-walk.  In essence, it all comes down to an organization’s ability to execute their strategy.  It seems as if ‘strategy’ is where it’s at.  People embrace their strategy, they internalize their strategy, they personalize their strategy.  What about tactics?  How is that strategy going to be implemented?

Here comes the Dookie: This presenter told everyone what he wanted his strategy to be and everyone seemed to think it was a good idea.  The ‘how’ ended up being the missing link. 

A strategy without tactics is merely a dream. 

And about my increasingly rare moments of absolute and total lucidity, I don’t suffer from dementia or anything, it’s just that when I was younger, I was under the impression that I and I alone saw everything clearly and had all of the answers.  I’m now wise enough to know that wisdom will always be just beyond my reach.

Mailman Campaigns to Wear Skirt

Yes, that is the actual headline of an article on CNN.com and to my knowledge, the photo above has not been photoshopped. 

Let’s see… gays are now marrying each other in a number of states which is fine, Paris Hilton’s energy policy not only actually makes sense, it’s better than those put forth by either Barack Obama or John McCain and a ‘Mega-Preacher’s’ wife is being sued for elbowing a flight attendant in the left boob. 

In a world that has seemingly gone mad, Dean Peterson can’t get relief from the chaffing caused by the interaction between his regulation USPS uniform and his genitals?  The Scots have been wearing kilts for how long?  Sure, I’ll admit nobody really looks cool wearing a kilt except for maybe Sean Connery, but what’s the big deal if this guy wants to wear a kilt to deliver the mail?  So what?  He’s not hurting anybody so why not allow him some relief?

Dean Peterson used much of his $1,800 stimulus check to mail about 1,000 letters and photographs of himself wearing a prototype Postal Service kilt to union branches across the country.  Unfortunately, it was all for naught as his proposal was defeated during his union’s recent convention.   

I don’t know if Mr. Peterson will ever get to wear a kilt while delivering the mail but I don’t think that his chances are very good.  Why you might ask?  Because Mr. Peterson doesn’t represent a vocal minority. 

I’m not a bigot in any way, shape or form.  I believe that everyone should be treated with the same level of dignity and respect regardless of their race, gender, sexual orientation, culture, beliefs or religion. 

I do have an issue when people manipulate their status in order to receive unneccesary special treatment at the expense of everyone else.

I strongly suspect that if Mr. Peterson were gay or a transsexual, transgender etc. he could claim some form of discrimination or EEOC violation and be permitted to wear his kilt to work, and rightly so.  The fact that I point this disparity out and because Mr. Peterson probably isn’t gay or a transexual or transgender person, I’m labeled as being insensitive or worse.

I believe that if he were a member of a visible minority, he’d be able to claim that his wearing a kilt was some sort of tribal or other ritual dating back several hundred years–and ultimately would be permitted to wear his kilt to deliver the mail.  A number of years ago in Toronto, Sikhs who were hired by the Toronto Police Service fought for and won the right to wear turbans while on duty.  Again, no problem here.  The fact that I point this disparity out and because Mr. Peterson is not a member of a visible minority, I’m labeled a racist.

Recently in the Town of Ramapo, Rockland County, New York, the Ramapo Police hired an orthodox Jewish woman as a police officer.  Great!  A little multiculturalism and diversity is good for community policing.  Except that despite her having apparently agreed to be available to work on Friday evenings and Saturdays as well as stating that she’d obtain special dispensation from her rabbi to work those days if hired, she has been given a free pass to have those days off.  No problem here except…

…I know Christian police officers who have been on the job for more than 10 years who have never been given Christmas off.  Because I had the audacity to point this inconsistency out I’m sure to be labeled an anti-Semite.

To make matters worse, the town supervisor recently criticized a Ramapo Police Officer who had an orthodox Jewish woman remove her wig for a mugshot saying “Ramapo police are trained to respect religious and cultural beliefs and the officer should have known the religious nature of the wig. He has ordered new programs in police sensitivity training”. 

Apparently respecting the religious and cultural beliefs of Ramapo Police officers is not a consideration here.

Pretty slick–this woman transformed herself from a criminal to a victim just like that.  No mention of the fact that this woman was being charged with a felony and quite frankly, I wonder how many other women, African American, Christian, Hispanic etc. have had to remove their wigs, hats, burkas etc. for a mugshot when being charged with a felony and have not had the town supervisor publicly pander come to their aid?

This issue of people manipulating their minority status in order to receive unneccesary special treatment at the expense of everyone else has been around long before the Politicaly Correct folks showed up imposing their beliefs on the rest of us.  Again this represents a vocal minority imposing on the freedoms of the rest of us. 

We have the right to our race, gender, sexual orientation, culture, beliefs and religion, but our race, gender, sexual orientation, culture, beliefs and religion shouldn’t give us special rights at the expense of others.

 

 

 

Plenty of Dookies in New Hampshire

We just got back from 8 days in the great State of Maine.  The weather wasn’t great but who cares?  The sea air, rugged coastline, fantastic seafood and great people easily make up for lousy weather. 

To make life even better, Maine is also home to one of the finest, most creative bread bakeries I’ve ever come across… “When Pigs Fly”. On this recent trip I purchased Six grain and pumpkin seed, baby spinach & garlic focaccia and banana, pecan, maple and brown sugar bread.  This blog isn’t about When Pigs Fly but I’ll make a note to address this Dookieless business later.  If you can’t wait, visit their website at www.sendbread.com.  In my humble opinion, there are very few Dookies in the State of Maine. 

I’m not so sure about their neighbor to the immediate south.

In order to drive to Maine from any other State, one must travel through New Hampshire; in our case up I-95 for approximately 16 miles.  It would appear that New Hampshire has never met a traveller ‘just passing through’ that they weren’t willing to stick it to and no, I’m not talking about the $1.50 toll everyone pays in order to cross the 16 miles between the Massachussetts border and the Maine border.  This 16 mile stretch of highway  is far more notorious for their ticketing practices. 

For about 14 miles of the 16 mile stretch, there is a grass median separating the northbound from the southbound lanes.  Look closely and provided the grass hasn’t recently been mowed, you’ll see dozens of pairs of tire tracks across the median.  The New Hampshire State Police have a nasty habit of crossing from north to southbound and vice-versa in pursuit of revenue.

On a recent trip home from Maine, we witnessed 12 troopers on I-95.  They had set up a minivan on the northbound side, under an overpass with the rear hatch open.  A trooper was sitting on the rear bumper aiming his radar gun at oncoming cars just as they rounded the bend.  Just beyond the minivan sat the other troopers in cruisers just waiting to pounce.  Meanwhile in the driver’s seat, yet another trooper aimed his radar gun at southbound traffic and had troopers waiting to hit their quota as well.

As you approach the toll, the speed limit drops to 35 MPH about a half mile before you get to the toll.  Many times I’ve seen cars pulled over in the toll area for speeding as they decelerated to pay the toll.

Now I have absolutely no problem if a policy is designed to keep everyone safe while acting as a deterrent.  What I do have a problem is with the fact that this is more about revenue generation and less about safety.

About two years ago, I had the misfortune of being on the receiving end of a speeding ticket in New Hampshire.  Admittedly, I was travelling at a speed higher than the posted limit of 65 MHP.  I was not going in the low 90′s as the trooper had claimed.  In the past on the rare occasion when I had received a ticket, I mailed in the payment and went about my business.  This ticket really bother me because there was no way I was travelling at anywhere near 90 miles an hour. 

Prior to my mandatory court appearance, we visited Maine once again. (cruise control set at 63 MHP through NH) I took this opportunity to drive about 110 miles in order to sit in the court room to see what would happen and what chance I might have fighting the ticket.  During my interactions with the clerk’s office, I came to realize what a finely tuned revenue generator New Hampshire has in operation.  If you were issued a ticket by the State Police, your court date would be on a Thursday at 8:30am.  Each issuing agency has their own time and date which makes life much easier and much more organized for their shakedown. 

What happened was absolutely astonishing.  The court doors were opened at 8:00am and court was due to start promptly at 8:30am.  I sat quietly in the back as people began to arrive.  The troopers also began to arrive as well.  As they came in, each trooper said hello to the clerk and was given their stack of tickets for that day. 

The troopers then called people one-by-one out of the court room and took them into conference rooms.  Deals were cut, fines reduced in return for guilty pleas and upon returning to the court, the trooper informed the clerk that Mr. or Mrs. So-and-So had agreed to plead guilty to a lesser whatever and would pay a fine of $XXX.XX.  Mr. or Mrs. So-and-So then left the court, paid by cash, check or credit card and went merrily on their way albeit with less cash that they had when they had arrived.  By 9:00am the judge had not yet appeared and there were a few lawyers and two DUI defendants left in the court with me.  I counted over $4,000 in revenue based only on what I had actually overheard and I didn’t hear what everyone had agreed to pay.  At this point I left too.  No use in not being able to watch traffic court because nobody was left to attend traffic court was there? 

Perhaps I’m naive but I thought that the troopers were the witnesses for the State and that the prosecutors’ job was to cut deals in return for guilty pleas.  Not so in New Hampshire, in fact I haven’t been able to get anyone to explain this phenomena to me yet, either. 

Of course to make a long story short, when I had to go back for my traffic court date, the same thing happened.  I paid a fine, got no points and no license suspension.

Somebody, somewhere came up with this revenue scheme and others supported it as a good idea.  Therein lies the Dookie.  I have no problem if I get a ticket and have to pay a fine if a fair an equitable process is in place.  I have no problem if in the interest of public safety, the police are out to get people to slow down.  I do however have a real problem when traffic ticket issuance becomes a manipulated, anticipated revenue source.

We are brought up to respect and trust law enforcement but the experience in New Hampshire has really shown that power can and is being abused in the quest for revenue.  But then again, what should we expect from a State that offers an in-service video for law enforment training entitled “Selling the Traffic Ticket–How to Avoid Unnecessary Court Appearances.”

Oh and should you decide to visit the Great State of Maine, set the cruise control to 64 MPH for at least 16 miles of your journey.  You’ll save gas while depriving New Hampshire of their pound of flesh.

Dookie Potential for Mega Quake Prime

I don’t know how I missed this one, but I’ll admit, I did.  At the Koreannovation trade show in New York, J International CityM Korea Co. Ltd. unveiled the ‘Mega Quake Prime’.  This machine claims to provide a full body workout equivalent to 100 minutes of weight training while standing on the platform and being vibrated for just 15 minutes.

I can just imagine standing on the Mega Quake Prime, watching Oprah as the pounds vibrate effortlessly away while eating a bag of cheesy poofs.  No, the cheesy poofs should not be an issue if we apply some basic math: 

Oprah is a 60 minute program and 60 minutes is 4 times as long as 15 minutes.  If the company’s claims are to be believed,  one can reasonably expect to get the equivalent of 400 minutes of weight training during The Oprah Winfrey Show.  (100 minutes x 4 times as long as 15 minutes) 400 minutes of course is the equivalent of 6 hours and 40 minutes.  I’m quite confident that eating a bag of cheesy poofs will be more than offset by the equivalent of 6 hours and 40 minutes of weight training. 

Based on the comments I’ve seen around the Internet, the Mega Quake Prime might just be somewhat difficult to sell to the skeptical American marketplace because in short, despite the Mega Quake promises to become the lazy person’s dream come true,  I’m quite confident that showing up, standing around and doing nothing with or without a giant vibrator will not make you look like Arnold in his prime.

What most amazes me about this story is that a group of highly paid executives sat in a conference room somewhere in Korea and decided to devote the company’s time & resources to develop this product.  Did anyone in that room secretly believe that developing a giant vibrator might not be the best way to utilize the company’s assets?  I’ve just got to believe that at least one person felt this way and yet still didn’t have the courage to shout “DOOKIE IN THE POOL” at the top of their lungs and then explain their thoughts to everyone else.

On the other hand, there is the slight possibility that I could be wrong in my assessment.  Perhap this giant vibrator could be the answer to our prayers! 

Because of this slimmest of all possibilities, I’m going to throw down a challenge: 

If J International CityM Korea Co. Ltd. really believes in their product, I’d be more than willing to use their machine everyday for 60 days and forgo cheesy poofs and all other salty, fat laden snacks for this same period.  I might actually commit to eating a salad once or twice as well but may shy away if asked to put the salad part in writing. I will however be willing to video tape my progress each day and post it on Youtube.  If at the end of the 60 days, the product works as advertised and my fat ass is slimmer, I will work out on this contraption in Times Square for a day.  If it doesn’t work as advertised,  J International CityM Korea Co. Ltd. admits that their giant vibrator was a Dookie in the Pool and agrees to buy my fat ass a gym membership. Sound fair enough?

I’m going to email a link to this post to the company as soon as this is published.  Something tells me that

1. I won’t get and answer to my challenge

2. The only answer to getting into shape is actually going to the gym, and using a membership that I end up paying for myself. 

Stay tuned for updates and please pass the cheesy poofs.

Airlines are Losing Money (Again?)

This is great.  Once again, the airlines find that they are losing money.  Apparently, this time rising fuel prices are to blame.

I really wonder why nobody in the executive ranks at all of these companies had the forsight to hedge rising fuel costs.  Cereal companies hedge the cost of their raw materials namely the grains, corn etc., that goes into the products that they make.  Haven’t the folks at the airlines caught on yet?

What truly makes this scary is that it would appear that almost all of them are losing money.

American Airlines is by one estimate, losing almost $3.5 million a day.  Ticket prices have risen 6% while jet fuel prices have risen more than 92% over the past year.  Clearly something has to give.

What would happen if market-rate fuel surcharges were added?  Would people fly less?  Perhaps, perhaps not.

If people flew less as a result of the higher fuel surcharge, planes would probably fly closer to their capacity and fewer flights would be needed. 

If people flew the same amount as they did before the spike, airline fuel bills would be covered and there would be a little left over for profit–a pretty simple concept.

With recent price spikes for flour, my local bakery, bagel shop and pizza place have all raised prices and apologized for having to have had to do it.  These businesses aren’t charities, they simple need to earn a profit for all of their value-added labor.  I don’t like the higher prices but as a consumer, I know that if local retailers aren’t making money, they tend to close up shop fairly quickly and it’ll cost more in terms of time, money and quality to go to another store.

What I don’t understand is why major airlines, with legions of seemly intellegent people working for them, can’t make this concept work as well.

Something tells me that Chapter 11 is in the future for some, mergers for others. 

At some point someone needs to yell “Dookie in the Pool!  What we’re doing isn’t sustainable so we’ve got to try a rather novel concept for an airline, we’re going to try to make sure that our revenues exceed our expenses” 

Unfortunately history is a pretty good indicator so I’d suggest that more of the same is on the horizon.  I hope they’ll let me transfer my airline mikes.